I hate this.

"I hate feeling like this. I hate pretending to be okay around you. I hate that you find it so easy while i'm here, trying to hide everything, and even then I can't do that. I hate this. I hate how you make me feel about you. I hate how you make me feel bad about myself. I hate that you look at me like everything is alright, and everything that happened was nothing. I hate that I couldn't stop myself from falling before it was too late. I hate that I can't contain all of this in right now. I hate that you're making me this emotional. I hate what i've become. I hate what I am. I hate how you are. I hate how you treat me. I hate how you aren't treating me like you used too. I hate how you are around people. I hate this. I truly hate this. I hate how this is all my fault. I hate how I know this. I hate that i'm aware that I caused this. I hate that I fell for everything. I hate that I was stupid enough to think things would be different. I hate how I imagined something so childish. I hate myself. I hate this whole situation. I hate how things didn't end up differently. I hate that things turned out like this. I hate that I can't have you. I hate that I want you, of all people. I hate that you make me want to know you. I hate that you make me care about you. I hate how you look at me. I hate how you make me want to hold you and kiss you. I hate that I don't want to let you go. I hate that I don't want to let this go. I hate that I don't mean this much to you. I hate how I know this. Most importantly I hate what you're doing... what I think i'll never hate though, is you... and I think it's because, I love you." - Jackie Reyes